Death Row Owls

I've been knitting for 10 years. I do not own a wearable hand knit sweater. This is a big sore point with me. My first two sweaters ended up not fitting me the way I had hoped they would, and so they were gifted to a good friend. There was one sweater that fit well, and looked good, but it was washed on the delicate cycle, and it felted. There are four other sweaters that I started and haven't finished yet.
I need a sweater. I mean, I don't actually need one to stay warm, but I need one to feel like I'm not some sort of failure as a knitter. I've successfully knit things for other people, so I should be able to knit something for myself. Clearly, this is a working theory. I thought that "Owls" would be a walk in the park.


This was going to be the sweater that I finished without problems, and wore regularly. It is not that sweater. That doesn't sound nearly as dramatic as it sounded last night, after I threw my knitting to the floor and started crying. Before you decide that I'm an overly dramatic individual, let me give you the back story.
My father gave me 6 balls of Rowan "Cocoon" for my birthday last year. He said that the yarn store owner had knit a sweater with owls on it, and that it was a lovely pattern. I, being familiar with all lovely owl patterns, recognized his description of the sweater immediately as "Owls" by Kate Davies. I had a few other things I was working on at the time, and thought I'd wait to cast on until fall. Fall arrived, and I was eager to get started. I was so eager that I didn't bother to check the yardage. I assumed that the yarn store owner had sold my father the correct number of balls. Wrong. So, after swatching, casting on, and knitting a significant portion of the body, my knitters sense kicked in, and I went to check the yardage. I was 200 yards short. For you non knitters out there, that's not even close. I was frustrated, but I soldiered on. This was my first mistake. I should have ripped back, and picked a different yarn for the sweater. That would have been the mature thing to do. I had reservations about using Cocoon for this project, and now I had reservations about the sleeve length.


Instead of listening to my inner knitter, I decided to knit elbow length sleeves. I convinced myself that I could live with that, that I would be happy with elbow length sleeves. This was a lie, but I am not above lying to myself to avoid frogging a days worth of knitting. I made some changes to the pattern, knit the body, knit the sleeves and took a break.
When I got back from our Christmas trip to the states, I picked it back up, ready to start on the owl cabling. I've knit several seamless sweaters and so I just kind of glanced in the direction of the pattern. From this point on, every single stitch count was off. Every time I corrected for one problem, I ended up with another problem. Logic packed her bags and kissed me goodbye somewhere near the second row of yoke decreases. Nothing made sense anymore. In a desperate attempt to steer things back on course I asked my husband to tell me how I should decrease 9 sts. "evenly" over 85 sts. He told me what he thought was the right answer. I misinterpreted what he had said and the following count was off. I withered like the wicked witches of Oz. I was an inch short of finishing, and from the armpits up it had been a fudge festival. I had a heaping pile of poop in my lap staring at me, daring me to put it on. So, I tried it on.
It didn't fit right. To be fair, it wasn't a total disaster. It was too tight in the armpits and there was a little too much negative ease (stretch) across the owls. The thing that put me over the edge, the thing that made me hate every single stinking stitch of that sweater was the fact that I had an entire ball of Rowan Cocoon sitting next to me on the couch (for you non knitters, that's a pair of long sleeves). It was insulting. I have put this sweater on the knitter's equivalent of death row and unless there's a call from the Governor this thing is going to be terminated.
In an effort to get back on that horse, um owl, I'm trying to decided whether to use the yarn to start a project I know I like, because I've knit it before, or to try another "Owls" sweater with a different yarn.
In happier news, we have some fish.


They don't have names yet, but they are keeping the tank warm, while we wait for the others. The black fish was being a little shy during our photo shoot. They like to spend a lot of time together, and we're having a hard time telling whether it's because they really like each other, or because the are fighting. Fish psychology is complex.